River James by M J Fields

I fell in love with Memphis Black and when Finn Beckett hit my kindle I was sure that this series was destined to continue to get better and better but I wasn’t equipped to handle the fact that River James was going to break my heart!

River is anything but “just the drummer” but he has managed to keep everyone at bay up until now and that has partly been due to the front he wore well, the less than affable personality that he liked to hide behind. He wasn’t high on my list of favourite guys but by the time I had finished the book, my opinion was completely reversed and I cried for a man that was more than I could have ever imagined.

Lilting from one high to another River was all about whatever it took to forget a past that plagued him, nightmares that haunted his sleep and friction with Finn that was blighting the only thing that brought him joy, the band.

River was an a** of epic proportions but when his trouble are unravelled, I understood why he was the way he was and I didn’t blame him at all for the way he lived his life because in his heart he honestly believed that he wasn’t enough and never had been.

Pain makes us do things that seem to be both irrational and hurtful and that was the driving force behind River…he was in pain. He was a damaged man on the outside but that was only the outer shell, the inner little boy had so much more to deal with and little if any will to address the issues.

That is until he meets Keeana Sutton because while she too is hiding an inner suffering, she has a better handle on the way she is dealing with it but much like River, she has no idea what she is dealing with when the most enigmatic man she has every met has her heart beating to his tune.

Keeana is a tough cookie, she has made something of herself after breaking free from the sort of relationship that could so easily have been terminal, but getting her life back on track, she is standing tall and proud and has a determination to never be at the mercy of a man again.

But plans never follow the path you have mapped out and for both River and Kiana they have a long road to travel before they can finally accept the fact that sometimes you just have someone in your life because they need to be there and that your life is a better place for that being the case.

There are some really funny moments in the book, Rivers relationship with Tink was just beautiful, his manic outburst and floundering attempts to be himself had me smiling but his story was far from humorous, it had serious undertones and I applaud the author for giving voice to the subject and by using such a strong character to bring the story to life.

My favourite book in the series so far is a rollercoaster of emotions that meant that I couldn’t put the book down, and I will hold my hands up and say that I didn’t want too. The journey they were on was one that gave them both the opportunity to exorcise their demons and to accept that by sharing their situations they can be better people, for each other.

River needed someone to draw his pain to the surface and to make fighting it worthwhile, and Keeana was that for him. But without the powerhouse that was Mamma Joe I don’t know that he would have been able to see the wood for the trees.

I wondered whether they would ever be able to find a happy ever after but I should never have doubted the author because not only did she do them proud but she gave my heart the opportunity to sing…this pair were everything you could possibly want and they deserved only the best, heck they suffered enough to get it.

I dried the tears from my cheeks as I finished the last few chapters and finally laid the story down knowing that with Billy’s story to come next, I am far from done with these guys and that pleases me because these rockers have definitely made themselves at home in my heart and I don’t want to say goodbye just yet.